The 3rd Trimester Pregnancy & Bump Update + Survival Tips
I am starting to write this as I enter my 34th week of pregnancy, so I am really getting in the thick of this last trimester. I want to say something like “and it’s kind of hard to believe that I am here already!”
But, I can believe it.
Maybe because I spent about half of my pregnancy in quarantine, but time did not just “FLY BY” and “HERE WE ARE!” Now, as I finish writing this post, I am well into my 38th week of pregnancy and I feel like it has been 38 weeks for sure.
There are days where I feel like I will be pregnant forever. I wonder if any of you know what I mean. I often think to myself, “will I never not be uncomfortable again?”
I frequently have this feeling that I will never again have a flat or even semi-flat stomach.
Or that my throat will be perpetually on fire with burning acid until my dying day, if it’s not what strikes me down dead in the first place (it’s either that or daily nausea that may kill me. Oy vey iz mir!).
WITH all of that being said, I actually think a majority of my most joyous moments were during this last trimester… (yes, its true, in spite of all of my physical ailments). We are finally coming out of quarantine in NY and I feel like I am experiencing a little bit more of what the life of a normal pregnant woman is like when I am out and about.
After coming home after a short outing, I start thinking, “Oh this? I can do this kind of pregnancy.” The kind of pregnancy where strangers smile at you and ask when you’re due, and workouts feel pretty good, and my energy levels are normal in the early mornings and go straight through the afternoon, and I can eat things that are closer to my normal way of eating, and I had a wonderful reason to rest when I want to and not lift anything heavy. This is what it must be like for normal pregnant people.
I get it.
Maybe I will stop looking at people with more than one child in total bewilderment.
Week 28 through week 38 and counting of pregnancy has been such an exciting time–I am in the home stretch, undeniably, visibly pregnant, and my little nugget is boogying around in my belly all the time (the amazement that I get from this feeling will never get old!). All of my doctors and healthcare providers agree that she is VERY active.
Our baby shower had to be cancelled, but two of my aunts came over and brought the baby what looked like an actual truck load of clothes (my cousin Dina generously contributed to the stockpile as well).
My 4 girlfriends from childhood threw me an intimate social distanced backyard shower with us and our husbands, kids, and Donna Momma. Both occasions were lovely and had me in happy tears that lasted throughout the weekend.
My in-laws also came to visit for a weekend and Sam threw us a surprise backyard-shower filled with games.
I even had a Zoom shower with some of my closest friends that I met when Sam went to Harvard Business School. That was so much fun and I enjoyed every single second.
Family members and friends have indulged me by setting up Zoom sessions where I can record them and ask them questions about their lives so my children can one day have these really special videos of so many loved ones that have had such a wonderful impact on mine and Sam’s lives.
Many people send us gifts for the baby and I am touched. This child is so loved and she hasn’t even been born yet. We have definitely been showered with love all around even though this year didn’t quite pan out as everyone might have expected.
Our baby moon was also cancelled, but most importantly, my baby and I are both healthy and generally happy during the third trimester, which is as much as I can really ask for.
The nursery has pretty much come together and it’s all just starting to feel so real.
Okay. So, on to the questions. These have been ones that have been popping up in my DM’s, so what better way to share and have them to refer back to if you need them at any given point? I am at week 38 now as I answer them so some progression, for better and for worse, has occurred since I started writing this blog post.
How have you combatted your worst symptoms during this last trimester?
Let’s rewind back to acid reflux. That only came in the middle of the third trimester, but it was AWFUL.
This is what I’ve been doing or taking to ease the blow:
✨Eat small meals frequently.
✨HYDRATE!
✨Take apple cider vinegar diluted in water 2x a day.
✨Meiz U Shaped Pregnancy Pillow for elevation.
✨Sessions with my PT & Pelvic Floor Specialist.
✨Having a husband that is willing to get up at 1:52 am to fetch me something to eat when an episode occurs in the middle of the night.
Sam has been attentive this entire pregnancy, but he has really stepped up his game even more in this home stretch. I get yelled at if I bend to empty the dishwasher, and I usually hate getting yelled at, but in this case, I really don’t mind!
WHAT ACTUALLY WORKED TO SUPPRESS THE ACID REFLUX WAS ELIMINATING DAIRY. I FINALLY FIGURED IT OUT AT WEEK 35! And if I can give up dairy, ANYBODY CAN. It has been worth it.
How is third trimester pain & insomnia going?
I have no issues falling asleep, but I DO have issues staying asleep. I recommend the “Expectful”
meditation app if you can’t fall asleep though. I love listening to it before bedtime.
I have been having horrific hip, pelvic and jaw pain in my sleep, but seeing a chiropractor and a pelvic floor specialist really helps take off the edge. At week 36, I started seeing her every 4-5 days instead of once a week because the pregnancy insomnia has been really bad due to physical pain. Not having access to specialists during quarantine had me suffering greatly both physically and emotionally. Now, I am more grateful than ever for people who can adjust my body to make me feel better.
Are you planning to breastfeed?
Yes, I am and boy do I have a doozy to tell you… I am sharing because I feel that there are not enough women telling the truth about how much pregnancy and early motherhood involves dealing with some really difficult twists and turns. I often feel like I was lied to through omission. Too many women may be afraid to have these conversations, but I am going to delve in because if I could even help one woman… If I could make even one gal feel seen- it will be totally worth telling my story for just that one person.
If you are riding the struggle bus- I got you, girl. I see you.
SO, I saw a lactation consultant 3.5 weeks BEFORE my due date just to make sure everything looks ready to roll. Now, I am not saying the following to brag, but f*ck it… you can call it bragging if you want. I don’t care. Before I got pregnant- I had the most fantastic breasts.
There. I said it.
They were great and I never took them for granted. They are STILL fantastic. Really, they are… but NO ONE TOLD ME THAT YOUR NIPPLES GROW. A LOT. LIke a WTF amount. And get darker. That really messed with my mind when I saw them change before my eyes (thank GOD I hear they go back to normal).
But the story gets worse.
I do not have inverted or flat nipples, but my lactation consultant wanted me to wear nipple suction cups starting at 15 minutes a day and working my way up to 8 hours a day.
Every single day.
The first day I wore them, they hurt like hell. I cried hard for a solid two minutes once I took them off. I was balling to Sam about how I don’t even feel like a person anymore. Between having to be quarantined from most of the world to practically no sleep and now this?!
The reason the lactation consultant had me wear them is because she wanted to make sure that I do not have any issues with latching once the baby is born. The theory is that it is much less stressful dealing with potential issues before she arrives rather than when she is here and hungry.
I understood that logic, so I was on board. But I am sharing all of the details surrounding this experience because this is the kind of stuff that women go through when they are preparing for a baby. These are the kinds of sacrifices we make for our children. So, the next time you wanna cop an attitude with your mother or any woman- think twice!
Here is an update… After three days of suctioning my nipples, I had to call it quits. It really messed with my head and the pain was unbearable. I wore them for 25 minutes on the third day and desperately took them off. Once I did, I was feeling VERY nauseated and my nipples were in a great deal of pain for days. Also, when I had them on, I felt like my uterus was contracting. I have a very high tolerance for pain. I would equate this pain I experienced with the nipple suction cups to nails on a chalkboard. This was the first time in my pregnancy that I felt a huge wave of depression, anxiety and fear come over my body and the whole experience felt like a trauma.
I had to call it quits.
If there is some reason I can’t breastfeed, I can always pump, use donor milk, or even formula if I have to- we all just do what we can do and we have to love and respect ourselves in the end. I don’t ever want to have a bad relationship with my breasts. They are too good to take for granted.
Are you going to take maternity leave?
Yes, absolutely. It’s so important to me to take some time and space to be present in this amazing time of life. My doula and dear friend, Shalini Shah loves me and I love her, but she doesn’t fully trust that I am going to take it easy the way she really wants me to in order to ensure that my body recovers properly.
She has already told my mother and my husband to hide my Apple Watch. She doubled down and said that after I have my baby, I need to pick a floor of my house to hang out on so I can properly rest. I am a multitasker, and I do need to be reminded to slow down.
Being an entrepreneur and small business owner, I knew this would look different than most people’s maternity leave. Honestly, it’s one of the reasons I needed time to prepare for this season of life before we even started trying: when you run your own business and are the sole person in charge of everything, there’s is typically no paid leave, no time off, and unless you set your business up in a way that can grow and serve people in other ways than based on your time alone, the whole taking a few months off could be more stress than it’s worth.
So, sitting here now, this time this year, feels much different than where I was at last year. One of my big goals this year was to:
Get more help and support. I did that. Having Alli on the cooking side of the business means everything. She is my other half in that respect and we are completely a team. I couldn’t have a better partner in the entire world.
Be more strategic with my time and energy, so that taking time off could be a reality that wasn’t stressful.
So, TBD how much time I will take for maternity leave, but I be taking some time.
This means: No emails. No one-on-one clients. No speaking gigs. No events. No meetings. No doing weekly blog posts (that aren’t already done & ready for you). No pressure to post on Instagram daily.
Just leaving more space for me and my family.
The thing is this… I LOVE what I do. REALLY love, love it. I’m so proud of what I have built and continue to build. I feel blessed to have this opportunity to teach and help people make their lives better every single day. So much of what I do is because I love and enjoy my work.
So, while I’m off, I will be working on and doing things that are either already done and ready to go: (the “28 Day Meal Plan,” for example). I can do this kind of work because I will have my family around, especially my mom who will be helping me recover, rest, cuddle and watch the little girl whenever we need.
I am sure that I will be writing some here and on other platforms, sharing our journey to becoming parents, but here’s the thing: I will do it if and when it feels aligned and when I actually want to write. No pressure.
I know a lot of entrepreneurs plan out their content the entire time they take maternity leave, but that to me just didn’t feel right. I want you know that I AM taking time to report some information in real time. Without guilt. That working non-stop, “powering through, and being proud about it”, isn’t healthy.
“Work hard, play harder” is not really my thang.
I know I will need time to rest, recover and heal. To take care my family and myself. To snuggle and just enjoy our sweet baby girl. To carve out time to honor this truly once in lifetime event that will forever change my life.
My world won’t end if I take a month or two to focus on something that really matters to my life and being intentional around motherhood. I share this with you because I want you to feel inspired to do the same in your life- whatever that looks like.
Any cravings these days? What are you loving or missing?
Well, I gave up dairy, as I mentioned. I miss it, but it’s not worth suffering the acid reflux. That is saying a lot coming from me because I LOVE cheese.
Lately, I have been craving more and more leafy greens, but that is because starting 3 weeks ago, I have been borderline anemic for the first time in my life.
I’m still listening to my hunger signals which does have me eating smaller portions every so often instead of big meals. Definitely dining on smaller dinners.
I am making sure I eat several dates a day, as they have many health benefits for preggers. I have mentioned due dates before… they are my favorite snack.
How are you feeling as things get closer?!
As my due date gets closer, we’ve spent a major part of the 3rd trimester trying to finish up things around the house like moving our office around and turning one of our guest rooms into a baby room, plus all the normal (I think?) aggressive nesting (pantry clean out, fridge & freezer clean out, basement cleanout, goodwill runs, building cribs and dressers in both our Sleepy Hollow and Goshen homes, etc).
I am REALLY slowing down these days. I am nauseated on and off all day long. I am trying not to let physical ailments get me down. I am manifesting visions that I have been thinking every few months. Most of them have been around motherhood and this sweet baby and just trying to connect and enjoy the experience of carrying a child before I know her little soul. I also spend time praying over any fears I have had, so I could be present with them and start to work through them. Many a morning, in the wee small hours, I have spent a lot of time just imagining what life will be like, and making the room and space for whatever that may be.
Although two Sundays ago I woke up at 4:54 AM so nauseated and didn’t get back to sleep until I took a Unisom at 7:30 AM and then slept until 12:30 PM.
Oy.
Thank God it was a lazy Sunday.
You know what else has been great? My pelvic floor specialist and my chiropractor. Both big game changers regarding my comfort levels. I still can’t sleep well at night, but I have experienced improvements and by week 37, my pelvis is ready to give birth! It was SO TIGHT and the pain was horrible. If any of you live in Westchester and need healthcare professional recommendations, please reach out to me directly. I REALLY want a prenatal massage, but there hasn’t been much that hasn’t opened up yet.
Any good podcasts or books you’ve been enjoying?
Hypnobirthing, The Mongan Method: I listen to the audio version, but I bought the book as well. It has been calming me and preparing me for labor.
Mamma Natural Pregnancy: A Week by Week Guide: I like a book that takes you week by week through the journey.
Birth Hour: This has been a good podcast.
The Happy Sleeper: We are currently reading this.
What products have you been using?
In the last 2 weeks, I started using vitamin E oil for perineum massages. This technique is supposed to help prevent tearing and has been recommended to us by multiple sources. I have Sam “performing” them because I can’t even see what is going on down there. We do a LOT of laughing in this house over how ridiculous our lives have become. I often look at Sam and ask, “Am I laughing or crying?” because sometimes I don’t know what I should be doing.
This is the oil I rub all over myself to prevent stretch marks. I haven’t gotten them yet and my tits are ginormous, so I guess it works! Thanks, Elemis!
I take these “Garden of Life” prenatal vitamins because they are the only ones that don’t make me puke.
This is the iron supplement I am taking because I have become borderline anemic for the first time in my life. It only happened a few weeks ago and taking these pills is a real pain in the ass because you have to take them on an empty stomach and away from caffeine… both are rare occasions for me, but it is worth taking. I chose this brand because they are vegan and do not constipate. I have not had an issue with constipation at all and I don’t plan on starting to have one now! Hemorrhoids sound like a freaking nightmare.
I started to suspect that I may have an iron deficiency issue when I was craving to chomp on ice. I don’t even normally like ice and this craving went beyond the normal pregnancy desire for ice chips. I would literally order iced coffee to-go so I could get a separate glass of these specific ice chips and crunch on them because there has been no greater feeling.
This is an indication of an iron deficiency, but no one really knows why.
What about support wear in the 3rd Trimester?
I pretty much live in Blanqi Support Wear. I LOVE compression clothes. They make me feel super supported. I loved how seamless they were (read: no irritation!), and how supportive without feeling like you were wearing Spanx. The sewn-in belly belt subtly lifts your belly, helping with back pain and encouraging good posture. Dress up or down–this support wear is stylish enough to be worn on its own and doesn’t need to be covered up. Like I said, I have been living in their leggings and bike shorts!
These were my favorites:
Everyday Maternity Support Tank Top
I also have maternity clothes from Target because they are reasonably priced and so cute.
Have you taken any classes leading up to your birth?
YES! Our doula, Shalini gave us private lessons (maybe 6 sessions at least, probably more) over Zoom and they were amazing. It was a great way to get information, I think especially for Sam. He was a very active participant in the class and I think the lessons brought us even closer together as parents. It opened up a lot of space for us to have important conversations not only for how we saw our birth going, but for how we would tackle issues raising a child.
Sam and I are VERY into communicating with one another, but I think the classes brought this to a new level in a really wonderful way.
Also, I learned that most men don’t know jack sh*t about the birthing process or even the female anatomy. I have been informed that there are many women who don’t either! That’s why these kinds of classes are SO important! You can be super smart, but not know some crucial information when it comes to growing and birthing a child. I learned a lot as well, especially around what I want my birthing experience to look like. I will go more into that in my post-partum post.
Are you still working out?
I’ve been keeping my goal up of at least moving my body with walking every single day. And by walks, I mean more like “snail crawls”: very slow little shuffles around the block in the afternoon just to get fresh air and get my blood flow moving. I stopped doing barre though and now I spend 15-30 minutes per day doing my pelvic floor exercises and they are a CHALLENGE! I am sweating through the exercises. I am limited on what exercises I can do now because everything makes me nauseated.
Fun times.
How did you find your doula?
Shalini is one of my best friends and she actually hasn’t worked as a doula for years because the job is so demanding, and in ways it takes over your life. You have to block off chunks of time just for one birth and a birth can sometimes take days on end. She is a childbirth educator now and she is going to school to become a lactation consultant. Shalini also founded BIPOC IN THE BAY which is an incredible organization that supports women of color who are doulas in the San Francisco Bay area. She merged her three passions: Race Equity, the Bay Area & Birth Work, to create Bipoc in the Bay. It is encouraging to see something wonderful come out of such a stressful period of time.
Years ago when she stopped being a full-time doula, she told me that she would still be my doula no matter where each of us was living in the world and she kept her promise. She flew across the country and is quarantined right now just so she can be with us for this moment. There is literally nothing I can do to repay her for sharing her time, love, and expertise with me throughout this journey. I will love her forever.
I recommend finding a doula that you feel completely comfortable with and trust. Even if Shalini has her own opinions on subjects, she educates her students with a completely unbiased approach, which is hard to find in a doula, but I do think is crucial. Doulas are actually just as important, if not MORE so important, for the birth partner. Sam and Shalini have their own friendship outside of me, which is a great bonus because she is also there to support him through this journey as his doula as well. She has made Sam feel empowered, confident, and educated and we are both so appreciative.
We obviously have not had the baby yet, but I can already tell you that having a doula is going to be the best money we have ever spent, so I highly recommend hiring a doula. I don’t know what we would have done without Shalini with us along the way. There are so many unknowns with birth, and Shalini will just know exactly what to do when, she always comes up with with tons of ideas, options, encouragement and support when Sam and I needed it most.
For next time…
More on favorite brands & registry items that we are most excited about in the postpartum blog to come… I don’t want to hardcore advocate for anything until I know what works for BIB.
There you have it– my third trimester experience and survival guide. What helped you get through the home stretch of pregnancy? Share in the comments below!